I Finally Got To Know I Had a Mum

I woke up this morning with swollen face because I had gone to sleep last night with tears in my eyes, the thought of not knowing my mother and having a mother care grieved me so hard that I began to relate it with some negative occurrence around me; I feel Rejected, Unloved, Castigated and Frustrated. This makes me disagree strongly with people who say Children who are not Breastfed are usually Unhealthy, Unintelligent, Dull and less privileged. I am a Living Proof. As I share this true-life story of mine, I hope it reaches out to those young ladies who are currently going through the same situation as mine. My name is Damilola  Amoo, I am 25years old -  I hail from ajase ipo in Ifelodun Local Government of Kwara state. I grew up with my dad since I was a baby, though my dad later had a wife which is my step mum ( a story for another time).                 

When I was a bit grown to realize that it takes a man and a woman to mate in order to produce a child (I was in primary school then), I then asked my dad "where is my mum?" my dad told me I did not have a mum, this made me more inquisitive so I asked further questions from my dad “is it possible for me not to have a mum? Does that mean you gave birth to me yourself? Do men now give birth? All of these questions were left unanswered because my dad refused to tell me what I needed to know.

As a young child that I was then, the only family I knew where my Dad younger siblings(my dad was the firstborn), my grandparents were dead before my birth. So, I went to my Dad's immediate sibling to ask about my mum and she told me she doesn't know where she is, I looked at her with amazement, several things running through my mind at that moment so I gushed out in anger and tears: how can you not know where my mum is? Even my Dad couldn't tell exactly where my mum is, is she dead? My aunt immediately drew me nearer and said to me; your mum is not dead, we just don't know her where-about, she had left you for her mother few weeks after she was delivered of you so her mother(which is my grand mum) brought you to your father when you were 5months old. That last statement sounded like a bomb to me, I pulled her arms and ran home crying and sweating profusely.
When I had the chance to ask my father to explain further what my aunt had told me about my mum, my dad, after declining my request eventually told me the exact thing my aunt had earlier revealed to me, I was not breastfed by my mum, my grand mum has angrily dumped me for my dad one morning, My dad said I was looking so unhealthy(you can imagine when a newborn baby was not breastfed and properly taken care of) my dad was about leaving for work that morning November 22nd 1992 when I was dumped at the door entrance, with tears in his eyes, he carried me, he was confused he didn't know what to do, I was his first child so he didn't know exactly what to do, his neighbors (married women) that were around that day took me from him and prepared pap(corn meal) for me and fed me with it, they bath me and pet me to sleep, that went on and on like that till I grew up to that stage that I was asking him questions. I sighed and still ask; where is my mum now? Where is my grandmother? What about my mum's family? Where do they live? These got my dad angry at me but he managed to tell me my grandmother was dead and that he honestly doesn't know my mum's whereabouts.                           

(Cut from long story) I am astonished how I don't feel sad when my friends brag at what their mum got them, some even talk about how much they love and confide in their mum than their dad, I have never coveted anything about them because  though I didn't know my mum, my dad tried to fill her gap. It was quite painful when I remember her at times because sincerely her gap was not totally filled despite how much my dad tried. Thinking far back when I first menstruated (that was in secondary school days), I could not tell my dad, I was ashamed so, my cloth stained several times that people noticed. It took me some months before I told him.......One of the reasons why a girl child needs her mum around her.
I can remember vividly when my dad despite that he is an ordinary school certificate holder, he will teach me mathematics as though he has a bachelor degree in Mathematics. I won Awards for the best student in my class from primary school to secondary school. I am currently an Undergraduate of LASPOTECH. I had DISTINCTION in a certificate course - Hospitality Management which I offered in NATIONAL INSTITUTE FOR HOSPITALITY AND TOURISM.

I thank God for his endless love towards me if not him I wouldn’t have gone this far. It was just too bad that I had to fall a victim of coming through a heartless mother.  Right now am living fulfilled, even though I still expect more from me….at least I am smiling am living, am fending for myself. And I solely give it to my Dad he is a mother and a father; I describe him as a complete man. though am still in search of my mother, her name is #BUKOLA , Wish I knew her surname it would have been easier. but never the less am grateful to GOD and I vow not to raise my children the way my mother did I will sacrifice and be the virtue woman for my children. to those reading this never gives up on your dreams; it doesn't matter how you were born focus on what you want to become.  And am also thanking Charlian TV ​for granting me a platform to share my story across on #peoplearoundlagos Thank you all friends out there I love you All.

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